As a child I always prayed when I ‘wanted’ something. Before exams was the favorite time for prayers. To avoid tongue lashing and beatings, ‘after mistake before being discovered’ prayers were the most intense. Eid prayers were sincerest for relatives used to hand out BIG pocket money.
Since I am a fair person, I also made promises every time I prayed. I would promise God, ‘next time’ I will certainly study well (exam prayers). I would promise I will never repeat my mistakes (After mistake before getting caught prayers). In case I did get reprimanded I would be very disappointed with God. I would feel let down. I had delegated such an easy work to him and yet….I would stop praying only till the next need surfaced. I would promise I will use my money well (Which meant I will eat all tasty things as soon as possible to lift poor people who sold them). You see, I was so good and kind hearted. It had got nothing to do with my love for food, of-course. Hey, you do believe me, don’t you?
As I grew up, my prayers continued but the content changed. I now prayed for an encouraging side glance from the cutest girl in school. Unfortunately she never knew I even existed. I solaced myself by chivalrously saying, it was her loss. But the heart beats still increased dramatically whenever she was around. I wondered why God did not heed my prayers.
I was now praying, my mustache should be thicker than my friends (the boys only). I was praying Mum should allow me for a night out to my friend’s place. I was praying for a place in the school basketball team. I was praying for a chance to see a movie with ‘A’ certification without getting caught. (There a deeply guarded secret is now out).
I grew and the prayers continued but the contents changed again. Again I grew, again the prayers continued, again the contents changed. A few years ago I realized, it doesn’t work this way. These words changed my prayers. They read, ‘Life is not MEANT to be Easy’ and all the time I was praying for an easy life.
I realized that either I can have a great life or an easy one both aren’t possible. No one who has lived a
great life had an easy life. To me this meant when times are tough, I am prepared to become great.
Even today I pray. My prayers are intense, sincere and consistent. Earlier my prayers were, ‘Why me God?’ Now my prayers are ‘Try me God’, I am your product, I am made to succeed.
Earlier my prayers were when I ‘wanted to get’ something. Now my prayers are ‘wanting to give’ something.
When I get up in the mornings, I say “Alhamdulillah “and pray for strength and sensibility to live a purposeful day.
Yes indeed I am still asking in my prayers. Earlier I was asking from him now I ask from me for him. Strangely, this gives me greater peace and purpose than any other prayer that I have tried before.
Have you ever wondered what will be the right way to pray? Have you discovered your ‘right way of praying’? Do you wonder if it is the right way? Well, my evolution tells me, if it fills you with courage and peace, you have found your right way to pray.
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